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The Vision...

A Biblical Small Group Within Walking Distance of Every Person on the Planet.


01.17.2013

Four Possible Reasons Many Small Group Members Never Become Mature Disciples



 
As I consult churches and speak with small group pastors, more and more I’m seeing a movement taking root. There is a movement toward making mature disciples. This trend is thrilling as it is the only way to accomplish Jesus’ commandment (Matthew 28:19) and it is the only way that the church will once again be a movement and no longer be viewed as a self seeking institution. Through making mature disciples who make mature disciples the church will once again be “salty,” and “a light on a hill.” (Matt. 5:13 – 14)
 
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately learning what Jesus did when making disciples. Thus far, I believe there are four reasons many small group members are not becoming mature disciples.
 
1. They haven’t been told that the goal of the group is to make group members into mature disciples. When people don’t know what the target is, they certainly can’t hit it. If a small group is about making a mature disciple, those in the group need and deserve to know that this is the goal. This is the only way that they’ll consider hearing and agreeing to the next point, point #2.
 
2. They haven’t been asked to count the cost and commit to a disciple’s lifestyle. On multiple occasions Jesus spoke to someone who wanted to be one of His disciples and told them what was going to be expected of them. Some chose to follow Him, some chose to walk away. Those in the second category just weren’t willing to do what was necessary. If a group is going to make mature disciples they should tell those in the group what the expectations will be and give the group member the opportunity to join them in this or consider a different group.
 
3. They don’t view anyone as their discipler. Jesus was a discipler/Rabbi and those who followed a Rabbi knew from the very outset of the relationship that the Rabbi they were following was their teacher, model, and leader. Acknowledging this fact gave the discipler/Rabbi permission to speak into the disciple’s life, redirect the disciple when they did something incorrectly, committed a sin, or believed something that contradicted truth. Not only that, the disciple, because the disciple believed deeply in the discipler/Rabbi, watched the disciple/Rabbi as they went about doing life and made them a model for their own. Acknowledging these roles gives the discipler/Rabbi permission to disciple the disciple and the disciple a mentor to direct them as they grow to spiritual maturity.
 
4. The leader isn’t allowing Scripture to raise the bar. Over the last few weeks I’ve read the four gospels multiple times. I’ve been specifically looking at Jesus’ teachings and expectations of those who would call themselves His disciples. While Jesus said that, “... my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt 11:30) in comparison to the many rules that the Pharisees had created, when we study Jesus’ teachings and statements to those who would be His disciples, He often raises the bar. If we’re going to make mature disciples, we must let Jesus’ words speak for themselves without rationalizing an easier expectation that He Himself proclaimed. It is through committing to His expectations that a disciple will commit to a lifestyle through which they will become spiritually mature. 


You May Also Want to Read...
10 Discipleship Confusions Invading the Small Group World
Disciple Making Small Groups II, Jesus the Rabbi
Perverted Disciple Making, When People Become Projects
Disciple Making Groups IV, Quotes That Define Discipleship


 
 
Disciplemaking
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01.16.2013

Why Small Group Members Don't Do What Small Group Leaders Expect of Them

 
 
I was once asked this question while leading a small group leader training session, “What can I do to get my group members to attend small group meetings consistently?” This small group leader went on to tell me that the people in their group just wouldn’t show up consistently and that this was killing the group. There were over twenty people in the group but the leader didn’t know if they’d have 6 or all 20 at a given meeting.
 
My first question for this group leader was, “Did the group agree early in the group’s life that attending meetings each time the group met was an expectation of anyone who was going to be in the group?” He said, “Well, no.” My response was, “If no standard was set then a group leader can’t expect a group member to meet the unknown standard.”
 
Group leaders, if you want group members to do anything consistently, you must get them to covenant together to do that thing. Everyone must agree to that expectation, and all must hold one another accountable to it.
 
Expecting someone to carry out an expectation that was never voiced or agreed upon is like expecting water to flow uphill, it just can’t happen. 


You May Also Want to Read...
A New Kind of Covenant
5 Ways to Reignite Your Small Group's Passion
How to Start a Small Group

 
Leadership, Covenant
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01.15.2013

Staff Member... Four Times It's Okay to Question Your Senior Pastor

 
Even churches have flow charts. Everyone works for someone. If you’re a staff member you probably work for the senior pastor. Even in instances where the church has a Personnel Committee who supposedly has oversight of the church staff the senior pastor still is, as my young sons use to say, “the boss of” the staff team.
 
Because all of us are flawed, even a well meaning senior pastor may be involved in something or make a request of a staff member that is out of bounds. Staff member, it’s okay to question the senior pastor in any of the following instances.
 
1. The senior pastor asks you to lie. Sometimes a situation arises that could cause political mayhem and so, in a moment of weakness, a senior pastor may ask you to tell a little white lie. Staff member, there is no such thing as a little white lie, there are only LIES and they’re all BIG! To mislead is to lie and to lie is to lose your leadership equity and this is so because followers follow those they trust.
 
2. The senior pastor seems to be involving himself too deeply with a person of the opposite sex. Churches fall apart and people’s spiritual lives are forever tainted when a pastor engages in an affair, whether emotional or physical. Because you are at the church with the senior pastor many hours daily, you may be the only one who sees the same person coming and going again and again and are with the senior pastor when texts and phone calls come from the same person over and over. If this is happening, be very sensitive, even ask permission, but, in order to protect the church and the pastors ministry and family, if your relationship allows it, you may want to speak with the senior pastor about this.
 
3. When the senior pastor suggests you do something that is against policy. Most churches have policies that are set up by committees and teams. These policies are created so that all things are done in an orderly fashion and, in many settings, so that there is no abuse of money or power. A senior pastor may give a wink and say, go ahead, you’ve got my permission this time to do something that is against policy. For instance, you may be out to lunch with the senior pastor, policy states that the church credit card you carry cannot be used for in town lunches when only the pastors are eating together. The senior pastor wants to bless you with lunch but doesn’t have his card with him. He gives you permission to pay for the lunch with your church credit card. Don’t do it! When questioned, even if the senior pastor tells the Finance Team that he gave you permission, you still lose credibility with these people as you knew what the policy was and, in their minds, ignored it.
 
4. When the senior pastor says something about you that isn’t true and it diminishes your reputation. Sometimes a senior pastor will say something about a staff member that just isn’t true. Oftentimes this is unintentional. It’s a misinterpretation of something a staff member said or it wasn’t understood in context. But, if it diminishes a staff member’s reputation, the staff member should graciously and humbly discuss this with the senior pastor.
 
Staff member, anytime you find yourself needing to speak with your senior pastor about topics like those mentioned above, it is vital that you go with a humble spirit and after praying sincerely that God will prepare the senior pastor for the conversation. Also, it is never healthy or right to approach someone in authority over you in an angry tone of voice or with the goal of demeaning them. Go in love with the goal of making things right and ending the conversation with prayer, and a hug or a hand shake. 


You May Also Want to Read...
6 Statements Many Staff Members Would Like to Say to Their Senior Pastor
6 Statements Many Senior Pastors Would LIke to Say to the Staff They Lead
5 Reasons to Leave the Church You're Serving



 
Leadership, Church Staff
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01.14.2013

Small Group Leader Training, Eric Vaughn's Shocking and Amazing Idea

 
 
This weekend I had the opportunity to lead small group leader training at Eric Vaughn’s church, Cross Church, Pinnacle Hills, in Rogers, Arkansas.  It was an incredible experience.
 
Eric Vaughn, the small groups point person there is amazing. Not only is he a fantastic host, he is also an out of the box thinker with an ability to contextualize small group ministry to his situation in a way that is beyond comprehension. He knows his leaders, their lifestyles, their passions, and understands the culture in which they lead groups.
 
One of the things Eric did for his group leaders was really extraordinary and it’s something you may be able to do for yours. Eric had asked his leaders to set aside Friday night and Saturday morning for the training experience. When each leader arrived, they found small gift bags on the table where they were seated, one for each household. Inside that bag was a Visa gift card for $25.00. Eric and his team took the stage, introduced themselves, thanked the group for their ministry, and then asked me to come to the stage to encourage the group leaders concerning what we’d be doing the next day. I was asked to do a 7 minute statement.
 
At this point, these group leaders had to be asking themselves where dinner was, it was now nearly 6:30 and they believed they were there for an evening of training. When I completed my comments Eric took the stage and explained to the group that the small group leadership team had determined that they wanted to give a great gift to them. So, he said, “There’s a 25.00 gift card in each of the bags on your table. We’ve got childcare taken care of until 9:00 tonight. Enjoy your evening and we’ll see you back at 8:00 tomorrow morning for a catered breakfast and training. Have a great evening!”
 
You should’ve seen the look on these small group leader’s faces. They were thrilled and honored. Not only that, they were excited and fresh when I led a three hour training experience for them the next day.
 
If you don’t use this idea and you can afford it… you probably should!
 
Thanks for everything, Eric!
 
P.S. One of my deepest passions is training small group leaders. If you’d like to see some comments concerning my training as well as how to host a small group leader training experience at your church, just click on the word “training” below.
 
Small Group Leader Training
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01.11.2013

Disciple Making Groups IV, Quotes That Define Discipleship

 
 
Over the Christmas break I began reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s, The Cost of Discipleship. Some of the quotes from that book have deeply convicted me. Maybe you’ll find yourself with whispers from the Holy Spirit as you read them too.
 
“Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ… In such a religion there is trust in God, but no following of Christ.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“We are disciples of Christ, or we are not Christians at all.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“The only man who has the right to say He is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ. Such a man knows that the call to discipleship is a gift of grace, and that the call is inseparable from the grace.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“The followers of Jesus for His sake renounce every personal right… If after giving up everything else for his sake they still wanted to cling to their own rights, they would then have ceased to follow Him.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“Just as Christ is Christ only in virtue of His suffering and rejection, so the disciple is a disciple only in so far as He shares his Lord’s suffering and rejection and crucifixion.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
 “Fellowship with Jesus and obedience to His commandments come first, and all else follows. Worldly cares are not a part of our discipleship, but distinct and subordinate concerns.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“Christ’s followers always have His image before their eyes, and in its light all other images are screened from their sight.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“Only the man who follows the command of Jesus single-mindedly, and unresistingly lets His yoke rest upon Him, finds His burden is easy, and under its gentle pressure receives the power to persevere in the right way.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
 
“When Christ calls a man He bids him come and die.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
Discipleship
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01.10.2013

Disciple Making Small Groups III, The Cost of Discipleship

 
 
Jesus wasn’t hesitant when He spoke to those who wanted to be one of His followers. He raised the bar so high that many, maybe most of them turned and went back home. To follow Jesus meant giving up more than most in our culture could even consider. Let’s face it, we find it difficult to get small group members to commit to a group covenant!
 
So… What does Jesus expect of those who are His disciples? Jesus expects His disciples too…
 
1. Make our relationship with Jesus more important than the relationship we have with anyone else, even our own their families. Jesus said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)
 
2. Give up the comforts of home, even be willing to be homeless for His sake.  On one occasion a man said to Jesus,“I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus response was as follows, ““Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”  (Matthew 8:20) If we are unable to give up the comforts of home then we need not consider being one of Jesus’ disciples. Leaving the plush life and warmth of our homes may be a request Jesus makes of us.
 
3. We must be willing to set aside cultural norms when they contradict God’s norms. Also in Matthew 8… a second man wanted to be a follower/disciple of Christ but then said to Jesus, “first let me bury my father.” Jesus response sounds uncaring and unkind. Jesus said to the man, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” Many Jews regarded the commandment to honor father and mother as the supreme commandment. Jesus is telling this man that no matter what it is that seems to be more important than following Him, even if the culture sees that thing as supreme above all other expectations, that following Him trumps even that thing.
 
4. A Disciple of Jesus cannot love money. A rich young man once approached Jesus and asked Jesus what he needed to do to have eternal life. Jesus didn’t see salvation apart from being a disciple. In fact, when Jesus responded to the young man He said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 22 When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” (Matt. 19:21 – 22) Jesus is telling the young man that he must be willing to give up all his treasure if he’s going to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Loving and living for money and following Jesus cannot co-exist. You know why? Because, as Jesus reminds us, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)
 
5. A true disciple cannot remain silent about Jesus, their rabbi. In the book of Mark when Jesus speaks of following Him, He includes this convicting statement… “whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:38) Jesus is telling those who would choose to follow Him that, if you’re going to follow Him, no matter what your friends, co-workers, or family members think of you or says about you, if you’re going to be one of Jesus’ disciples, you will speak of Him to those in the generation in which He has placed you, no matter what the cost… embarrassment, ridicule, loss of relationship, no matter what it costs you.
 
6. A disciple of Jesus Christ must be willing to die for Him. Jesus said, “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:28)  Every person within earshot of this statement had most likely seen a crucifixion. They were fully aware that anyone who was crucified had to carry his own cross beam through the streets where crucifixion would take place. They were from Galilee. Less than 20 years before Jesus made this statement a group of Jews tried to throw the Romans out. The Romans won the battle and lined the streets with crosses and hanging on those crosses were the bodies of more than 2,000 Jews. These people realized that Jesus was speaking of dying for the sake of Christ.
 
And then, as if Jesus wanted to be certain we knew that NOTHING should come before Him, He declared, “any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33)
 
So… Here’s the question… At what point, if ever, do we make small group members aware of these expectations?
 
Maybe a better question is this one… In our longing to “get people to join the church and stick,” have we purposefully ignored these expectations of Jesus?
 
Maybe an even better question than that one is this one… Has our paradigm of discipleship devolved so much that, when we read these, we perceive them as being out of touch, out of sync with reality, and no longer valid? 
Discipleship
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01.09.2013

Disciple Making Small Groups II, Jesus the Rabbi

 
 
Over the last few months I have become deeply focused on what it means to make disciples. Due to the fact that Christianity is declining in the western world, I believe we have to take a serious look at what might be the causes. I believe one of those causes may be small groups neglecting to make disciples. It seems we’ve concluded that, if we get people in a group that they are going to grow to spiritual maturity. But, is there more to it than this?
 
What does the term disciple mean? It means to be a pupil, a learner; a disciple, a follower of Christ who learns the doctrines of Scripture and the lifestyle they require.
 
Researching the relationship between a Rabbi and his disciples aided greatly in understanding the discipleship process. Jesus was the ultimate Rabbi so, considering the role and lifestyle of a Rabbi in Jesus' time is vital to understanding how He discipled. Below you’ll find a few important facts.
 
About Jesus the Rabbi and Rabbi’s in Jesus’ day:
·      No less than 10 times in the gospels Jesus is called Rabbi.
·      Rabbis interpreted scripture, taught scripture, and told parables. Some went from village to village teaching in the synagogues as did Jesus.
·      Rabbis were never paid and relied on the hospitality of others to survive.
·      Rabbis often took disciples who would study under their tutelage, traveling with the Rabbi for years.
 
The Disciples Lifestyle:
·      A disciple was under the tutelage of, not just learning the teachings of, a Rabbi.
·      “Following” a rabbi meant a literal following. Disciples traveled with, watched the rabbi, then imitated what the rabbi did.
·      The disciple would see how a rabbi taught but watched the rabbi’s reactions in certain life situations and well as the manner in which the rabbi lived his life.
·      The disciple followed the rabbi everywhere and the disciple’s hearts were challenged and changed.
·      The disciple often shared in the homelessness of the rabbi which helped the disciple to understand and live a life of holiness.
 
(Much thanks to the authors of Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus for what you see in the list above.)
 
As you look over these two lists it’s much easier to understand some of the statements of Jesus concerning the costs of being a disciple. That biblical list will be tomorrow’s blog post. 


You May Also Want to Read...
What Happened to Making Disciples? by Michael Craven
Francis Chan: Can You Seriously Make Disciples?
Breaking: Catch Jim Putman and the Real Life Ministries Team in Houston January 17
 
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01.08.2013

Disciple Making Small Groups I, Questions I'm Asking

Tomorrow I’ll be starting a series of blog posts about disciple-making small groups. I must confess, I’m really wrestling with this topic as it relates to group life. I’m wrestling with this topic due to the following questions I’ve begun to ask. I’m hoping some of you who read this blog will comment and let me know if some of the same questions are running through your mind.
 
1. Is the western church dying because we are more passionate about having a high percentage of church attenders in a group than we are about making mature disciples?
 
2. Are our churches in such turmoil and are staff members forced to spend so much time with difficult church members because the church members are spiritual babes so they never exhibit the fruit of the Spirit?
 
3. Are most of us who are church leaders hesitant to make disciples because we were never discipled? Seminary/classroom training makes a knowledgeable person, not a mature disciple.
 
4. Has the western church embraced a paradigm of group life that is far from being a disciple making ministry?
 
5. Have we chosen a paradigm of group life that makes it easy for believers to be cozy while purposefully being unwilling to unveil Jesus’ declarations concerning the cost of being a disciple and have we done this so that people don’t leave our church?
 
6. What would the western church look like in 20 years if every small group pastor who leads a small group ministry were to give their lives to making mature disciples who make mature disciples?
 
I don’t know the answer to these questions. I’m on a perplexing journey. 


You May Also Want to Read...
Moving from "Come and See" to "Come and Die" by Mark Howell
Go in Twos by Heather Zempel
Has Small Group Discipleship Become Another Book Club?
10 Discipleship Confusions Invading the Small Group World
Small Group Leadership... Should We Lower the Bar?

 
Leadership, Discipleship
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01.07.2013

Learn How Your Church Can Make Disciples Who Make Disciples, Jim Putman in Houston!

 
 
There are few churches that are truly making disciples who make disciples. Many of those churches learned from Jim Putman. Jim’s church, Real Life Ministries in Post Falls, Idaho is a very, very special church. They have grown quickly while also making mature disciples, and those disciples are now making disciples themselves.
 
January 17th Jim will be partnering with a church that his church has greatly influenced, The Met Church in Houston, Texas. The Met is hosting a one day conference that will change the way you do church. The cost of this conference is only $59.00. Bring your entire staff.
 
You will have no regrets, I assure you.
 
To learn more just click on the link below:
 
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01.04.2013

10 Things I Learned While on Christmas Break

 
 
1. Being part of a unified family that laughs a lot is a ton of fun.
 
2. Card games can create healthy tension leading to even louder laughter.
 
3. If you’re from Kentucky and a Louisville Cardinal basketball fan, when the Louisville Cardinals beat the Kentucky Wildcats, it is really, really satisfying.
 
4. If you read the right book over the holidays, a book like Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s, The Cost of Discipleship, you will begin to ponder your own faith as well as what is lacking in the church today.
 
5. It’s most difficult to diet between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day.
 
6. Taking a break from small group leadership is refreshing and you come back more intent than ever to be a great small group leader.
 
7. A movie can depict with great power the gospel. Les Miserables is a movie based on biblical grace and is a potent reminder of the power of grace.

8. Spending time with a patient, kind, and godly wife is a great honor.
 
9. Not setting an alarm clock is downright enjoyable.
 
10. The only New Year’s resolution I want to keep is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, not just a good church member. 
Vacation, Sabbath
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