We need to help our group members understand that 1) God is not a Jeannie in a bottle. He is the all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful God. He is going to answer our prayers as they coincide with His will and ways. 2) God answers prayer one of three ways… No, Grow, or Go (Credit for this concept goes to Bill Hybels. I once heard him voice this at a conference I was attending.).

 

·      Grow… the request is in my will but this is not the right time. Continue to be persistent in your prayers and in time, in my time, I’ll answer your prayer according to your request.

 

·      Go… the request is in my perfect will and this is the right time for me to respond. My answer is yes and you’re about to see your request become a reality.

 

Helping your group members understand that God cannot be manipulated but that He is answering their prayers in one of these three ways is vital. For many, this will be the first time they’ve been able to deal with unresolved issues between them and God. For others, they will, for the first time, understand that God is God and that they are not.  


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There are a few things I’ve learned in this non-leadership role that may help some small group leaders.

 

1. Making group members feel welcome is vital. Our group leader is fantastic at this. The moment I enter the room I know he’s glad I’m there. He welcomes me graciously and asks about my life. It feels as though I’m more to him than just another attendee at one of his group meetings.

 

2. Draw me into the conversation. Most of us want to be heard but, if we’re not careful we sit quietly because we’ll either think someone will perceive us as the group, “know-it-all” or we think we’ll say something stupid. Drawing someone into the conversation by making sure they know no answer is stupid and that everyone’s input is welcomed, makes me want to be there. This kind of comment instills an environment of grace more than a conversational environment. By creating an environment of grace everyone may join the conversation.

 

3. Deal with the overly talkative person. There are few things as frustrating as having an overly talkative person in the group. They keep there from being a substantial conversation as people are internally frustrated and externally checking out. When overly talkative types are not dealt with, group members may not want to come back next week.

 

4. Use the Bible as the focus of the discussion. Most of us realize that opinions are helpful. But no opinion is as important at God’s. In fact, as I’ve said in blog posts before, His truth is always right. I am so very proud to have a group leader who uses the Bible when a life question comes up or we’re seeking out understanding. Mining for Gods’ truth is an excursion I’ll show up for every time. 



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Some Thursdays, I choose to swim in very precarious waters. If you’re like me you often find yourself pondering things that church leaders are fearful to let people know they even think about. Well, on some Thursdays I make my dangerous ponderings known. For those who have been courageous enough to climb out of the denominational box, the local church box, the box of legalism, and the cultural Christian box, these musings will create a healthy conversation. For those who find their identity in or make part of their income based on the topics and ideas that I’m pondering, these contemplations may create some tension.

 

Please know that I am not attacking any ministry or ideology. I’m simply scripting questions that I myself am wrestling with and, in some instances, telling why I have been drawn into the wrestling match.

 

Today… “Is the Segregation of Generations Hurting the Church?”

 

I never cease to be amazed at how often pastors point out age differences. It seems we find ourselves in another decade where those of us who lead the church create our own generation gaps. We seem to pay a lot of attention to this. You’re at a conference and someone tells you how concerned they are that all the keynote speakers are under the age of 40 or you’re involved in a think tank and someone leans over and whispers that they hope to be placed in a discussion group void of “the old guys.” It’s so bad that some events are even created just for, and have in the past blatantly declared that, if you’re over 40 this ain’t for you. Other events plan in such a way, if you’re under a certain age you probably won’t show up. The worship style, the breakout sessions, etc…, are designed for an older audience and you realize that the organizers didn’t create an agenda that would draw you in. Not so blatant but nonetheless just as segregating.

 

But segregation of the generations is not just a problem with pastors and the events and conferences they attend. Segregation of the generations is also a problem for communities. Enter almost any town and check out the churches in the area. You’ll find that some churches are made up primarily of young adults and others are made up mostly of mid to older adults. We’ll declare that this is due to the musical style, the decibel levels of the band, or the age of the pastor. But nonetheless, there is still a disconnect between the generations.

 

And, if segregation of the generations in a given community isn’t enough... how about segregation within a local church? Many churches actually house three churches… A children’s church, a youth church, and an adult church. Each of these ministries will have it’s own logo, purpose statement, core values, worship style, and brand themselves independently of one another. In some settings they will even have their own worship service meaning that children never worship with youth and adults, youth never worship with children and adults, and adults never worship with children or youth.

 

Is it possible that this weakens Jesus’ church? After having pointed out that the church is made up of redeemed people clothed in, “the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” Paul states that, “there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” (Colossians 3:10 - 11) Obviously, we are one church made up of all makes and models.

 

Records from the era of the early church point out that one of the distinguishing factors between Jesus’ church and other belief systems was that the early church was outrageously inclusive which was very counter-cultural. In fact, some church historians declare that this is why the early church grew so rapidly. Jesus reminded us that those outside the faith would know that He was God’s Son because of our oneness (John 17). And we are told in Scripture that younger people can learn God’s wisdom from those of age (Titus 2).